Malton

Ryedale District Council rejects inquiry into bullying

Ryedale District Council rejects call for inquiry into bullying

Ian McMillan - anti-fracking poem 2016.

Ian McMillan – anti-fracking poem 2016.

NEW Anti-fracking poem by Ian McMillan.
(Written as Conservative members of North Yorkshire County Council voted to allow Third Energy to frack in Ryedale).

Fracking is attacking

Fracking is attacking
The cracking
scenery
And greenery
They have
Round here.

Tackling the fracking
Is taking
A suture
To the future
To stop it cackling
All the way
To the bank.

© Ian McMillan 2016

Matt Harvey - Wimbledon's first official poet - anti-fracking poem.

Matt Harvey – Wimbledon’s first official poet.

NEW Anti-frack & drill poem by Matt Harvey – “glad-hearted laureate of the glass half-full”, Guardian:

Pie in the Sky

Put a saddle on a sunbeam
Hang a bridle on a breeze
Ride the tide into the future
Land of Possibilities

They tell me: If you want that kilowatt
You’ve gotta frack ‘n’ drill a lot
And then of course you spill a lot
And when I ask them WHY?
They say: Don’t let ‘em tell you otherwise
Those Greenies tell a pack of lies
When will you people realise
It’s all just pie in the sky!
Yee- ha!

Well slap my thigh,
Pie in the sky!
Hi de hi and Ho de ho
In the high-wide sky-pie rodeo

And I say: If the sky can provide
Gee, that’s kinda nice of it
If there’s pie in the sky
Cut me a slice of it

Serve me up a plateful
I’ll be glad and I’ll be grateful
Earth, water, wind ‘n’ fire are my dream team
Let’s tap the to-ing and the fro-ing
Bag the beaming and the blowing
Milk the movement of the ever-flowing stream
Yee- ha!

So frack me no fracture
And drill me no well
And nuke me no reactor
’Cos I’m goin’ for to dwell

In the Land of Possibility
The Land of Ingenuity
Exploiting every property
Of earth, sea, wind and sun
Puts the fill in my philosophy
A sigh in my psychology
Adds meat to meteorology
An’ I guess it’s kind of fun
(Yee- ha!)

Well slap my thigh,
Pie in the sky!
Hi de hi and Ho de ho
In the high-wide sky-pie rodeo

Because the reckoning is beckoning
The planetary auditors
Are reeling every second in
There’s flooding and there’s shortages

Put a saddle on a sunbeam
Hang a bridle on a breeze
Ride the tide into the future
Land of Possibilities

© Matt Harvey

NEW anti-fracking rap by Pete (not his real name) – after John Cooper Clarke:

muddled up the words and turds
posing threat to fields n birds
think a bit while you sit
spoutin out your bullshit
consider this the question
why not anaerobic digestion?
Your arsehole logic has gone south
You’ve got free fuel from your mouth

© Pete (not his real name).

NEW Environment Agency – Ryedale Sausage Fishing Byelaws

NEW Photos of protestors at Third Energy shale gas (fracking) planning meeting of North Yorkshire County Council.
Friday 20 May 2016. Venue: County Hall, Northallerton, North Yorkshire.

Barry Khan, North Yorkshire County Council.

Barry Khan, Assistant chief executive (legal and democratic services) and monitoring officer, North Yorkshire County Council, speaking to a member of the public outside County Hall during the Third Energy fracking (shale gas) planning meeting on Friday 20 May 2016.

Sir Richard Storey and Baroness McIntosh of Pickering at County Hall, Northallerton on 20 May 2016. Both are opponents of the Third Energy shale gas extraction (fracking) planning application. Both spoke against the application at the meeting on 20 May 2016. Baroness McIntosh spoke about the industrialisation of the Ryedale countryside and destruction of the Ryedale tourist industry if the application is approved.

Sir Richard Storey, Baroness McIntosh of Pickering and Ena Dent (Chairman of the Tourism Association North Yorkshire) at County Hall, Northallerton on 20 May 2016. All three are opponents of the Third Energy shale gas extraction (fracking) planning application. Sir Richard Storey and Baroness McIntosh spoke out against fracking at the meeting. Baroness McIntosh spoke about the industrialisation of the Ryedale countryside and destruction of the Ryedale tourist industry if the application is approved.

chairman of Tourism Association North Yorkshire

Protesters opposing the Third Energy fracking planning application, North Yorkshire County Council on Friday 20 May 2016.

Protesters opposing the Third Energy fracking planning application, North Yorkshire County Council on Friday 20 May 2016. The man with his back to the camera called himself ‘Pete’ (that is not his real name).

Yorkshire Water loves Third Energy

Police Liaison Officer Ian Richardson and colleague enjoying the friendly atmosphere at the Third Energy fracking (shale gas) planning application meeting at County Hall, Northallerton on Friday 20 May 2016. Yorkshire Water Services is contracted to supply Third Energy with water for the fracking process. (Why would Yorkshire Water care, as long as it gets its hands on the money?). Given Yorkshire Water’s track record of allowing sewage to escape into the streets and gardens and homes across Ryedale, (not to mention it’s recent £1.1 million fine for allowing shit to flood the River Ouse), God help everyone when Yorkshire Water disposes of the toxic chemicals from the Third Energy fracking process… by road. Watch the latest Yorkshire Water sponsored video: Ryedale Sausage Fishing Championships… Read more about Ryedale Sausage Fishing (including Environment Agency Byelaws).

NEW: Ryedale Sausage Fishing Championships 2016

Ryedale Disitrict Councillor Di Keal, Ian Conlan, Dr. Liz Garthwaite, Sir Richard Storey,

Ryedale Disitrict Councillor Di Keal, Ian Conlan, Dr. Liz Garthwaite, Steve Mason and Sir Richard Storey.

Dr. Tim Thornton and Dr. Andrew Price

Dr. Tim Thornton and Dr. Andrew Price – opponents of, and speakers against, Third Energy fracking (shale gas) planning application, North Yorkshire County Council on Friday 20 May 2016.

NEW: Ryedale Sausage Fishing Championships 2016

NEW: Environment Agency – Ryedale Sausage Fishing Bylaws – the dos and don’ts of sausage fishing. Sausage fishing” you, the law and how to stay the right side of the line. Safe sausage fishing for all.

Yorkshire Water: suppliers of fresh water to the Third Energy fracking industry. Never mind the views of the experts about the dangers to the health of the residents of North Yorkshire and the destruction of the environment, get the lovely money!!

Yorkshire Water: suppliers of fresh water to the Third Energy fracking industry. Never mind the views of the experts about the dangers to the health of the residents of North Yorkshire and the destruction of the environment, get the lovely money!! Yorkshire Water is proud sponsor of the Ryedale Sausage Fishing Championships 2016.

Malton Myopic 2016

NEW Ryedale Flood Defence machine – fear not, help is at hand.

Ryedale Emergency Flood Defence Working Model. Copyright © Simon Thackray

Ryedale Emergency Flood Defence Working Model. Copyright © Simon Thackray

Movie Release brought forward! Due to mounting concern and controversy surrounding the late publication of the North Yorkshire County Council Flood Study report into the flooding and pollution in Malton, Norton and Old Malton, caused by Yorkshire Water’s failure to invest in its knackered sewer network, the release of the movie of this revolutionary means of flood prediction has been brought forward to calm public fears.

Ryedale Whirligig © Copyright Simon Thackray 2015

Ryedale Flood Defence Whirligig 2015

Whirligig: Simon Thackray 2015

Whirligig © Simon Thackray 2015

This 3D working model whirligig (a ‘work in progress’) has been designed and built in a shed in Brawby (Twinned with iJburg, Amsterdam) by a working partnership of Dutch drainage experts and artist Simon Thackray, who have blended their unique water management skills with the call of migratory Polish Jesus Ducks fed through a specially designed Google Birdsong Translation Tool, to create a truly revolutionary flood-prediction machine.

Ryedale Flood Defence

Whilst still only ‘work in progress’, it is hoped that the residents of Malton, Norton and Old Malton, who are still vulnerable to flood and pollution (despite two and half years since the last catastrophic flooding event) will draw some comfort from the fact that this new machine is now commissioned and on standby. Watch the new Ryedale Flood Defence 3D working model now.

NEW: BRAMBLING FIELDS FOREVER! A new short road movie (2 mins 10 secs). Featuring the words of Stanley Bad, performed by Stanley Bad.

A song celebrating Malton and Norton’s iconic white elephant Brambling Fields A64 slipway has forced Ryedale Councillors onto the offensive. “Brambling Fields Forever” by international recording artiste Stanley Bad has in less than two weeks reached the number one spot in the Ryedale hit parade. Now members of the Council have banded together to make their own record to show how they cannot be taken for fools. This “admittedly difficult task” has led to the release of their single “Nobody Takes Me For Granted (I’m A Councillor).”

The rap-based song’s lyrics include the words: More…

Brawby_Krishnan_Guru-Murthy

Channel 4 News filming pothole repairs in Brawby, in Ryedale, North Yorkshire.

Watch Channel 4 News’ Krishnan Guru-Murthy chatting to Eliza Carthy and Simon Thackray.

PottyTM_Simon_Thackray_The_Shed

Emails received after using Potty on Chanel 4 News: “Who made that f****** porridge – Goldilocks? You’ve been watching those cookery programmes again, that bus certainly made mincemeat of it. May I suggest next time adding subtle mix of sugar and bullshit and maybe a smaller bus.” Alan (London)


“We liked your pothole putty, every bit as durable as the stuff that the Council uses round here and much prettier. It’ll be a fine day when you roll it out across the whole county… (If you’re after something a little more durable, you need some of my custard. Just pour it in the hole, give it about 15 seconds to set, and you won’t even shift it with a hand grenade). Your comments about two-tier Yorkshire were on the money, too. There is a definite inequality between York and its surrounding towns and villages, similar to the one that exists between London and the rest of the UK. I’d better go – I feel an anti-capitalist rant coming on…” Pete (a village near York).


“Fantastic! I love it. Does it sometimes work is it really PottyTM? I think ice made with water and sawdust would be good in winter or the next ice age. It was good enough to make aircraft carriers out of! http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pykrete Cheers, Sam (York)


“Very good…. especially the failure of ‘your product’. It would be nice to think it might shame Nth Yks Council into an equitable distribution of resources. Whatever, the application of good humour to injustice is kind of Easter-appropriate.  (Eliza should have turned down the not-an-honour).” Yours Andy


“Damn, you pipped me to the post I have been working on a multi purpose repair pot hole pudding for a while now. Somewhere between sticky toffee and toad in the hole. I think your packaging looks excellent but a little on the small size, you obviously are in an area where pot holes are far more petite than round our way. Martin (Scarborough).


“Loved the piece you did on Channel 4 about the porridge putty – couldn’t agree more about the potholes in rural areas of Yorkshire which aren’t in the tourist trap – we have a fair few up Nidderdale! Best wishes, Cheryl (Pateley Bridge).